later...

She wondered if the pillow crease on her face would give away the fact that they'd been taking a 'power' nap.

and then

she tried to get on with her writing but something tempted her towards new distractions

later...

Her Majesty was so pleased with on-the-spot nail repairs that Ladyboy Shadow was made a Dame!

amazingly...

by an astounding coincidence, the only substance poisonous to audible digitised noise bats was copious quantities of properly brewed English Breakfast Tea.

later...

During the inevitable distaster Big Titty Angel dispensed tea and hugs. Ladyboy Shadow brought a nail repair kit and some glitter.

and then...

Ladyboy Shadow suggested a new super uplift push-up bra.

and then...

She tried to examine her new glasses closely in the mirror but something kept getting in the way.

and then...

Other people had snow leopards and golden monkeys. She wondered how she had ended up with some kind of bent daemon.

and then...

She thought that perhaps they should do something but Ladyboy Shadow had just put the kettle on.

later...

Audible digitised noise bats began flying around and screeching evil messages

and

She couldn't remember a world before hair straighteners but there must have been one.

later...

She was sure the world had change subtly from the one she had been in before. Take size 16 pants for example, they had become malevolently small, and if you were living in a world where you couldn't even rely on St Michael of Knickers what hope was there for the future of humanity?

later...

The birch grove looked like a nice place for a picnic.

and somewhere else...

It was hot and crowded in the supermarket, the aisles were blocked by promotional goods, disgruntled teenagers, toddlers having tantrums, old grippers who couldn't remember what they'd come in for, men talking in a supercilious way to their wives, and the music playing was syrupy cheese. The woman with Tourette's summed it all up succinctly.

meanwhile...

Sometimes the trees faked stillness.

and then...

She was sure that alien bats on her MP3 player told her to kill the Queen, drink her blood and dance around in her skin because Her Majesty was descended from evil lizards. The nice lady from Napster said that there were no bats included in her free package, the voices could be 'known issues' with audible digitised noise when navigating the menu and if she held the line for 5 minutes, downloaded firmware, re-booted her computer, installed the program, reformatted the MP3 player and re-synchronised she could listen to Amy Winehouse instead.

meanwhile...

She was horrified by her incipient beard and asked to borrow tweezers but Ladyboy Shadow was too busy worshipping at the shrine of false nails.

and then...

Something strange was happening at the disused factory on the edge of town, but nobody noticed.

and then...

When she told Napster her MP3 player was fucked they misunderstood and warned her against using profanity.

and then...

Big Titty Angel got intimately acquainted with Mr P.

and then...

At night bats come out to sing to the stars.

and then...

Mr P lives in a dreamy orange world where everyone raps and the only food is fish fingers.

and what is more

She found it difficult to differentiate between the animus and the shadow side.

and then...

She was listening to THE CRYSTAL METHOD when she realised she had never understood the difference between good and evil.

and then...

LadyBoy Shadow said they should fly to the rescue but she was just about to have a cup of tea.

and then...

It all got scary on the day the trees uprooted themselves and began walking.

In the beginning...

After her accident she realised she had come back to a world almost the same as the one she had left, but not quite. As her aura streamed into the night she realised she was some kind of Avenging Angel.