meanwhile...

Ladyboy Shadow was not happy; he hadn't flown to the rescue or done anything kinky for ages!

and elsewhere, on a fellside...

Dame Nethermoss, the champion Herdwick, was rudely awoken by a levitating plastic demon duck.

meanwhile in China...

..the Olympic Monkey had to go back to his proper job of protecting a buddhist monk, leaving the heart-broken Thunder Monkey shedding bitter tears.

and then...

...the moon turned blood red as Abraxas II materialised at the centre of the stone circle.

later...

...in another part of the world where day had become night, a tree looking remarkably like an undead fish finger with electric shock hair, materialised next to the standing stones on a fellside.

elswhere in China...

Thunder Monkey and Olympic Monkey contemplate the moon in a perfect harmony of understanding.

Meanwhile in China...

The true identity of the little girl who really sang at the opening ceremony of the Olympics was revealed. The tight panties helped.

Ssh..meditation in progress...

Big Titty Angel and her bent daemon sit and contemplate the cosmos in companiable silence, she in her legendary big knickers and he in the tiny exquisite pants of silken torture, for each of us must find our pleasure where we can.

Meanwhile in China...

A worker with a well trained smile was showing how he had faked the footage for the fireworks at the Olympic opening ceremony. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the mind control headband he was wearing.

later...

...after visiting the disused factory at the edge of town, the woman with fried egg breasts began to turn into a slug. After the initial shock she realised it was rather pleasant as she didn't have to wear uncomfortable knickers.

more thoughts on enlightenment...

A pair of comfortable, voluminous stretchy black knickers with a soft waist band and double lined cotton gusset, and a cup of properly brewed English Breakfast tea with just a hint of Keemun; who could fail to reach enlightenment with those things conveniently to hand? But alas for the human race, such things are rarer than hen's teeth and the world must continue in chaos and destruction.

Ssh..meditation in progress...

Big Titty Angel sits and contemplates the cosmos in the fabled voluminous stretchy black knickers of comfort and ease; a pair of knickers so pleasant and comfortable that you don't know that you have them on and can sit in perfect harmony with the universe in that endless now moment, without wriggling or having elastic disappear up the crack of your arse.

Meanwhile in China...

Thunder Monkey had located the radio control device that worked the golden mind control headband. Now the Olympic Monkey would be her bitch!

later...

...she completely lost it.

and then...

Tourette's woman went off on one.

then...

no longer traumatised, Ladyboy Shadow twirled with delight at the sight of his new matching shoes and panties. Everbody else noticed that he needed a good shave.

Meanwhile in China...

...at the olympic opening ceremony, a tribute to Big Titty Angel was revealed- a giant blue boob where men clung on for dear life.

meanwhile...

Big Titty Angel was trying to lose weight by hypnosis but every time Paul McKenna asked her to count backwards from 300 she had a panic attack.

meanwhile- on the new download charts...

...The Undead Rapping Fish-Finger Song had reached number one! Tourette's woman was not at all impressed by the concept, although I think the lyrics in the new version of this old classic are rather fine.

My name is Mr P, I'm a fish finger dude,
I like to talk in rhyme, sometimes its RUDE!
I cook fish fingers and serve them in a bowl
(In da house. In da house)
and fly into space on a toilet roll.

Yo! Yo! Yo!

My name is Mr P and I like to rap!
but really I'm a middle-aged white woman
so its kinda crap.
It doesn't scan either and now I've stopped rhyming.
I don't think I've got the hang of this.

Sorry.

My name is Mr P and I'm undead

I creep my fingers into your bed

I fiddle with panties of every ladyboy

(In da house, in da house)

and traumatise the ones that's coy!

Yo! Yo! Yo!

previously...

...a large consigment of cheap headbands had been sold to a chinese gentleman by a well known purveyor of cut-price jewellery, accesories and cosmetics. The assistant was so busy trying to get him to buy a glittery make-up set at a special price of £1.99 that she did not ask to see his credentials. He said he was Kuan Yin and I belived him she said. After all she is sometimes portrayed as a he, so I thought nothing of it. How am I supposed to know what a person of compassionate enlightenment looks like?

Meanwhile in China...

...a worker with a well-trained smile was showing how pleasant it was to paint grass green in time for the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the mind control headband he was wearing.

and then...

The Bass Foxxxx said she was very fond of fish fingers, even when undead, and they made beautiful music together.

Meanwhile in China...

The Olympic Monkey was proudly showing off his ancestral home-the monkey cave behind a waterfall, where he had lived before his enlightenment.

Legend has it...

... that ghosts can be exorcised by throwing black beans over the shoulder at the feast of Lemuria. Unfortunately, due to the credit crunch, all Big Titty had in the house was a tin of Tesco Value Baked Beans in Tomato sauce, and the feast of Lemuria wasn't until May.

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow...

...so after having a nice cup of tea, the traumatised bent daemon made himself small and curled up on Big Titty Angel's breastal area for a nap. He slept fitfully, sucking his tiny thumb and dreaming terrible dreams about being violated by golden crumbs, but undead rapping fish fingers are no match for an angel with large, comforting breasts and a teapot. The hungry ghost had to wail yo! yo! yo! somewhere else.

Scarily...

...Ladyboy Shadow felt fishy-smelling fingers remove his slightly scorched silken panties in the night. Big Titty Angel swore that it wasn't her and luckily Ladyboy Shadow was able to put his hands on his pom-poms straight away, before all was revealed!

and then...

Tales of an undead rapping fish finger began to be told all over Big Titty World. Some told of only a decapitated head that flew through the sky like a chon-chon, rapping as it went. Others told of a mysterious, fish smelling, dark hooded figure that stood on the landing, intoning and calling for the other genii cucullati to join in. But worst of all were the tales of the hungry ghost with electric shock hair that tried to pull the living through into the other side, tempting them with promises of tomato ketchup.

Phew!

Mr P-the rapping fish finger dude- was pleased to see that he was not included in The Wheel of Death set up by Abraxas II. He began a merry little song about living in a lovely world, unaware that Baby Boris was able to crawl and was desperate for something solid to sink his tooth into.

meanwhile...

...united in their mutual love of hitting things with sticks, The Olympic Monkey and Thunder Monkey went on a visit to China.

Abraxas II...

...began to spin his terrible Dali-esque wheel of death. Where would the spinner land? The Scream? Tourrete's woman? The Bass Foxxxx? Mighty Marwood? Thunder Monkey?Menopausal Rage Goddess? Ladyboy Shadow? The Amorphous Angry Owl? The Woman with Fried Egg Breasts? Big Titty? The Random Dugong? Speedy the radioactive snail?

Enough Niceness!!

Meanwhile Abraxas II had been regurgitated by baby Boris and was thinking evil thoughts. But who was it to be? Our hapless big breasted heroine, her ladyboy sidekick, or one of the minor characters in the plot?

Interlude...

...of pretty niceness and loveliness, just because I can. Hello world! Hello sky!

Big Titty Angel...

...was more concerned about what being a tree had done to her hair.

Ladyboy Shadow...

...checked to see that nothing had remained twig like.

Fortunately...

the Olympic monkey had a delicate pot of Keemun which he used to free our hapless heroine and her bent daemon. Properly brewed English Breakfast Tea should always have a little Keemun added for those occasions when you find yourself caught in a dendritic trap.

meanwhile...

...standing still got a bit tedious especially as there was no tea.

Thunder Monkey...

...was rather smitten by the Olympic Monkey even though he appeared to be wearing a hairband from Claire's accesories and, horror of horrors, a cravat!

becoming a tree...

was not particularly comfortable.

meanwhile...

Abraxas, the original hermaphrodite, left the home for semi-retired deities and tried going for a walk, despite the fact that he hadn't thought his legs through properly.

meanwhile...

Big Titty Angel and Ladyboy Shadow were about to have a picnic in their favourite grove, when Ladyboy Shadow realised he had forgotten the teapot.