winter revels

The Scream-in-a-Headscarf was seen skiing down the fellside. Was her expression due to the financial situation or had she seen Ladyboy Shadow in his cute skater outfit?

and then...

Ladyboy Shadow had disguised himself as ballroom dancer Kristina Rihanoff. That's the real reason why John Sergeant pulled out of the Strictly final.

elsewhere on a grassy knoll

Sarah Palin and John McCain waited for the voting to finish.

meanwhile...

Ladyboy Shadow had got his extra extra high heels trapped in a water filled cattle grid.

and then...

Big Titty Angel was thoroughly drenched by a deluge of rain. Where was Ladyboy Shadow with his reviving pot of properly brewed English Breakfast Tea?

meanwhile in Iceland...

...the government had thought of a way to pay off their debts to British creditors. Knowing of our fondness for fish and chips they issued a new currency. Expect large mountains of cod to be piled up outside your local authority headquarters any day now-in these areas.

Poverty!

Due to the credit crunch Big Titty Angel and Ladyboy Shadow had to resort to desperate measures in order to afford some good English Breakfast Tea. They were down to their last three quid but looking on the bright side they still had more money than the Icelandic goverment!

Seriously folks - most of us in Blogland still have a fairly decent standard of living despite the world economic chaos. Today is Blog Action day on poverty. Don't forget those in real need.

eventually...

Ladyboy Shadow decided to train as a specialist cross-dressing nurse.

meanwhile...

Death called to play chess and was horrified to find Ladyboy Shadow playing footsy with him.

Meanwhile somewhere in Switzerland...

The build up of tea inside the particle accelerator caused a switch-off of the whole apparatus, just in time to stop Abraxas II materialising.

Minx!!

Later Ladyboy Shadow had trouble with an over tight corset.

meanwhile on her travels...

Thunder Monkey had taken up with a bit of rough. At least he knew how to make a fairly decent cup of tea.

meanwhile...

...our chums took tea in the grounds. Frou Frou was now fortunately on solids.

meanwhile...

Big Titty Angel was confused about the difference between a gadget and a widget.

Sunday Evening Classical TV Viewing

Now Ladyboy Shadow could indulge in his dream of being a naughty little minx from historical fiction!! Can you see his fake dumplings boys and girls?

meanwhile...

Ladyboy Shadow had also been up to no good with sheep and had caught bluetongue.

Thank Fuck for Keemun!!

The electrical fault at the LHC, caused by Mighty Marwood and his properly brewed tea, caused a little kink in the space/time continuum so Big Titty World was saved!

Big Titty Angel was no longer wearing a housewife skin but she now had to nurse baby Frou Frou, a hungry vampire Herdwick. She decided to sue the makers of Orangina for showing animal porn on the TV and not putting any warnings such as, drink responsibly or do not shag animals after drinking this product on the bottle.

She knew she should have stuck to tea.

Then, at the LHC...

A paradoxical woman from the future (dressed in mini skirt, huge shoulder pads and amazingly long false eyelashes as all good futuristic women always are) materialised at the centre of the action.

HURRAH!!!!!

Mighty Marwood (who had been curled up in a box belonging to Mr Schrodinger-from-next-door and was therefore in a quantum state of existence and non-existence simultaneously) managed to hover over Switzerland carrying a large teapot full of properly brewed English Breakfast Tea and drop it over the headquarters of the LHC. It caused a small electrical fault, which was blamed on something else. Could Big Titty World be saved?

Meanwhile somewhere in Switzerland...

...it was the day of the big switch on at the Large Hadron Collider and time began, very slowly and inexorably, to disappear up its own arse. Big Titty World ceased to exist and all our favourite inhabitants began to wink out of existence without even a whimper. No more Thunder Monkey or Bass Foxxx, no more Ladyboy Shadow, or Frou-Frou, or Woman with Fried Egg Breasts, or Scream in a Headscarf, or even Abraxas II ... could it be that a new world without evil might emerge?

Big Titty Angel herself went back to a time before her accident, when she was not an avenging angel but a woman in a housewife skin doomed to a perpetual existence of making cheese and cucumber sandwiches.

She wondered where she had left the teapot but then decided to have coffee instead...

meanwhile

Big Titty Angel gave birth to a little Herdwick lamb. Anyone got any suggestions for a name for this cute little product of an Orangina fuelled bestial sheep orgy?

meanwhile somewhere in Switzerland...

... scientists were getting so excited about the switch on of the large hadron Collider that they were rapping about it. Sadly Mr P was not able to join in.

Ladyboy Shadow was rather concerned about a black hole opening up and hordes of evil entities pouring through from parallel universes, so he filled the kettle and got the teabags ready early.

and then...

Darwin came back from the dead to say that all this interbreeding of species would not work.

meanwhile in China...

The Olympic Monkey started to be attracted to the Paralympic Cow.

and then...

... a muscular bear showed her his prematurely ejaculating bottle of Orangina. Where would it all end?

and then...

she found herself in a strange Orangina fuelled furry lesbian fantasy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the horror, the horror!

When Big Titty Angel went to bed a horrible shock awaited, lying on the pink flowered duvet.

previously...

Ladyboy Shadow had just put the kettle on, but would the aromatic scent of Keemun tea, mingled with Assam and PG Tips, be enough to avert a marching army of Vampire Herdwicks?

and then...

a relentless army of possessed vampire Herdwicks made their way through the storm.

meanwhile...

Ladyboy Shadow was not happy; he hadn't flown to the rescue or done anything kinky for ages!

and elsewhere, on a fellside...

Dame Nethermoss, the champion Herdwick, was rudely awoken by a levitating plastic demon duck.

meanwhile in China...

..the Olympic Monkey had to go back to his proper job of protecting a buddhist monk, leaving the heart-broken Thunder Monkey shedding bitter tears.

and then...

...the moon turned blood red as Abraxas II materialised at the centre of the stone circle.

later...

...in another part of the world where day had become night, a tree looking remarkably like an undead fish finger with electric shock hair, materialised next to the standing stones on a fellside.

elswhere in China...

Thunder Monkey and Olympic Monkey contemplate the moon in a perfect harmony of understanding.

Meanwhile in China...

The true identity of the little girl who really sang at the opening ceremony of the Olympics was revealed. The tight panties helped.

Ssh..meditation in progress...

Big Titty Angel and her bent daemon sit and contemplate the cosmos in companiable silence, she in her legendary big knickers and he in the tiny exquisite pants of silken torture, for each of us must find our pleasure where we can.

Meanwhile in China...

A worker with a well trained smile was showing how he had faked the footage for the fireworks at the Olympic opening ceremony. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the mind control headband he was wearing.

later...

...after visiting the disused factory at the edge of town, the woman with fried egg breasts began to turn into a slug. After the initial shock she realised it was rather pleasant as she didn't have to wear uncomfortable knickers.

more thoughts on enlightenment...

A pair of comfortable, voluminous stretchy black knickers with a soft waist band and double lined cotton gusset, and a cup of properly brewed English Breakfast tea with just a hint of Keemun; who could fail to reach enlightenment with those things conveniently to hand? But alas for the human race, such things are rarer than hen's teeth and the world must continue in chaos and destruction.

Ssh..meditation in progress...

Big Titty Angel sits and contemplates the cosmos in the fabled voluminous stretchy black knickers of comfort and ease; a pair of knickers so pleasant and comfortable that you don't know that you have them on and can sit in perfect harmony with the universe in that endless now moment, without wriggling or having elastic disappear up the crack of your arse.

Meanwhile in China...

Thunder Monkey had located the radio control device that worked the golden mind control headband. Now the Olympic Monkey would be her bitch!

later...

...she completely lost it.

and then...

Tourette's woman went off on one.

then...

no longer traumatised, Ladyboy Shadow twirled with delight at the sight of his new matching shoes and panties. Everbody else noticed that he needed a good shave.

Meanwhile in China...

...at the olympic opening ceremony, a tribute to Big Titty Angel was revealed- a giant blue boob where men clung on for dear life.

meanwhile...

Big Titty Angel was trying to lose weight by hypnosis but every time Paul McKenna asked her to count backwards from 300 she had a panic attack.

meanwhile- on the new download charts...

...The Undead Rapping Fish-Finger Song had reached number one! Tourette's woman was not at all impressed by the concept, although I think the lyrics in the new version of this old classic are rather fine.

My name is Mr P, I'm a fish finger dude,
I like to talk in rhyme, sometimes its RUDE!
I cook fish fingers and serve them in a bowl
(In da house. In da house)
and fly into space on a toilet roll.

Yo! Yo! Yo!

My name is Mr P and I like to rap!
but really I'm a middle-aged white woman
so its kinda crap.
It doesn't scan either and now I've stopped rhyming.
I don't think I've got the hang of this.

Sorry.

My name is Mr P and I'm undead

I creep my fingers into your bed

I fiddle with panties of every ladyboy

(In da house, in da house)

and traumatise the ones that's coy!

Yo! Yo! Yo!

previously...

...a large consigment of cheap headbands had been sold to a chinese gentleman by a well known purveyor of cut-price jewellery, accesories and cosmetics. The assistant was so busy trying to get him to buy a glittery make-up set at a special price of £1.99 that she did not ask to see his credentials. He said he was Kuan Yin and I belived him she said. After all she is sometimes portrayed as a he, so I thought nothing of it. How am I supposed to know what a person of compassionate enlightenment looks like?

Meanwhile in China...

...a worker with a well-trained smile was showing how pleasant it was to paint grass green in time for the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the mind control headband he was wearing.